Dear Bellends…

Buying a domain name is easy, in recent days I’ve bought three of the little tinkers and on each occasion I’ve bought them from my usual host [I won’t bother with a link] and have purchased them via Top Cashback in order to pay the minimum amount for the first year.

Top Cashback, as per usual, failed to record my visit which meant that I’ve had to manually claim for the money they promised, even then they only allowed me to make two claims rather than the three, so that’s nice.

In addition to being dicked via Top Cashback, again, I’ve also just had my first “I’ve tried to call you” email from some chancer wanting to flog me web optimisation services. I get this shit every time I bung a website online, for the first three months or so my inbox gets clogged up by clowns from India or wherever promising me the first page on Google, thousands of unique hits and visitors and a squillion pounds in income generated via targeted advertising… fuck you!

The bloke who sent the email quoted the number he called, I have no idea what the number he used is because I just pluck half-a-dozen digits out of thin air and fill in the forms using that. I guess somebody somewhere is now getting a bunch of pestering phone calls, sorry about that, random stranger. [sorry not sorry]

So, if you’re an internet Goo-Roo and desperately want to flog me some horseshit product that you’ve invented in an effort to part the gullible from their cash, don’t bother. The details registered on this account are fake, it’s not my real number, it’s not my real address and if you can’t figure that out then, frankly, I don’t believe the bullshit you spout in your wanky emails. To repeat, Fuck you, and the horse you rode in on. Cheers then.

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