I’ve not written anything for a while but I’m not too bothered, that’s not how this is meant to work. This incarnation of the website is not meant to be a daily moan, it’s a weekly moan, or a monthly moan or, every now and then, it’s not even a moan at all. Amazing!
Last night, when I went to bed I had a terrible sleep. I mean awful! I slept, but I also lay and looked at the time on the clock at the side of the bed an awful lot too. Gah!
Hang on, something isn’t right, rewind – “Last night when I went to bed” – there it is.
Last night, for the first time in 15 months, I went to bed.
Let that just sink in for a minute. For 15 months I’ve been sleeping on the sofa downstairs. I’ve had a duvet and pillows [I’m not French] but I’ve also been squished up on a sofa that should really be replaced, and while I’ve slept really well without having someone yoinking the duvet, or rolling on top of me [not in a good way] or snoring like a warthog, I’ve missed being in bed.
The other day it occurred to me. I strapped my leg on and wandered off to have a bath. When I was in there I thought “why am I still downstairs?”, and that was the decision made. We’d got into such a routine that when I was given my leg full-time it passed us both by without us even realising.
I don’t wear my leg much at home so maybe that was it. Everything is set up for me in a wheelchair and I can scoot about much faster in my chair than on my leg so when I put it on in the house it seems pointless. I find myself standing up for the sake of it, I don’t see the sense in strapping the leg on just so I can sit down and so it tends to live in the corner of the room and I put it on when I want to go upstairs, only now that means ‘when I go upstairs to bed’, too.
I keep a walking stick at the top of the stairs and leave my other one on the bottom step so it’s there when I come down. It’s really hard trying to go up the stairs whilst carrying something and that’s a skill to learn on another day. For now though, I’m just happy with being in bed, although everything hurts this morning, because I’m not squeezed into a small space, things that are normally bent aren’t bent and things that are normally straight were bent. I’ll get used to it though, probably.